She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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