some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
