she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
