Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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