ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize