I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
