Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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