i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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