I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
