the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We need a shit load of segways right now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
