just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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