Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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