i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
