I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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