Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
pray to the hookup gods
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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