Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
