Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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