well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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