i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
