Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize