we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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