Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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