I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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