Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He shit in the fireplace
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
