it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
