There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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