You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
