Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
