why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
