We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
