im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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