She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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