4 words: hood of his car
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize