They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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