I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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