...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
