oh god the rape fog is back!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
