Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
