last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The feeling are messing with the penis
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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