Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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