Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
