i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
