so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
