so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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