anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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