Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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