i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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