So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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