what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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