Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
