apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
