So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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