you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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