The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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