I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
