I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize