I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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